It Ain’t Too Purty
(Like 500 Miles of Busted Concrete)
by R.A. Hawkins

When I look at the current state of affairs in American politics I have to say that it ain’t too purty. I realize that some might immediately think that I’m referring to Pelosi and Hillary when I write like 500 miles of busted concrete (an understandable mistake mind you), but I’m referring to both parties right now. On one side we have the likes of McCain and Giuliani and Romney. And on the other we have a laughable catastrophe. I find little humor in the Republicans’ inclination to emulate Bill Clinton’s tendency to stick a moist finger in the air and see which way the wind is blowing at the moment. So I’ll start on them first

Giuliani thinks that gun control is a nice idea. I can see one reason why the Republicans might decide to pick him and only one. He got a lot of really nice face time on the tube after 9/11. That’s the only reason I can see for them picking him. The mere fact that he hails from that lofty example of Americana and statehood that voted Hillary and Schumer in is enough to make him useless to any real conservatives. Unless an (R) behind the name is all it takes anymore. Now that brings me to Mitt Romney. He comes from a wonderful place that repeatedly puts the likes of Ted Kennedy and John (I threw medals over the White House fence that’ll show ‘em) Kerry into office. That should count him out right there. Then there is the RINO McCain. I really don’t have much to say about him that’s good so I’ll drop it. On the other hand…what a doof! Make it official you dummy! Switch to the Democratic Party! There I said it.

And now for my favorite party: There’s Gore, who may be getting an honorary PhD from some university in Minnesota for being able to read the script to a movie with made up science, which for the university that should be only an “Inconvenient Truth.” Liberals will begin to flock to that place because in the true spirit of liberalism, they’re even giving degrees away. Nice. As a side note it is interesting that the liberals who claim to be the party of Jefferson have tossed FOX News out of the Nevada debates. I think that’s because they’ve refused to read the liberal script. All FOX has to do to counter that cruel maneuver is do a few reruns of "Spanky and Our Gang" at the same time. The Nielson ratings from that would tell the liberals that had been the wrong move to make.

And like Gore we have another guy, I think, that ran last time. Kerry got three purple hearts and in the true spirit of liberalism they were apparently self- inflicted. And from the way he acts I suspect they were actually head wounds.

But I’ve saved the best for last. Hillary is very carefully destroying Obama by digging up facts on him. Little insignificant things like him going to a Madrassa and his saying that his father was "a non-practicing Christian" when he is actually supposed to be a Muslim. I guess that would also make McCain a non-practicing streetwalker. No, wait a minute. Inner voice! Inner voice! I hate it when I do that!

But the fact of the matter is that at the same time she is destroying him she is also alienating the black vote. Her people have also dug up another rather interesting thing about him. He says he’s an ex-Muslim. Not all of the Muslims will accept that as fact because they have a different take on that. There are some in the Muslim community that believe that once Muslim you can’t go back. So to them he will still be a Muslim but hiding it for reasons to be revealed later. And that is where this starts to look both amusing and particularly ugly. She will at some point have to make peace with him if he continues to grow in power. Hillary may find herself in a position where she has to take him as a VP candidate specifically to get the black vote back.

At that point Hillary will have to, for the first time in her life, sleep with one eye open and she will discover a newfound love for her Secret Service detail should she happen to win. She won’t be telling them to carry her luggage this time. She’ll want to make darn sure they have all of their hands free to do what they’re supposed to do. Other than the inevitable slide into socialism, this will provide a laugh or two.