Movie Review: Christmas With the Kranks

Christmas With the Kranks

On Thanksgiving Day, prior to enjoying a late holiday dinner, I spent a couple of hours in my local theatre getting into the holiday spirit by seeing one of the 2004 crop of holiday movies. Now, I've not read the John Grisham story entitled Skipping Christmas on which this particular movie is based, so I can't tell you whether or not I liked the book. I can only say that enough people did that someone somewhere thought it was worth making into a movie. Unfortuantely for whatever reputation the story may have had on its own merits, the movie takes the entire premise on a nosedive directly to the bottom of the "Hollywood will do anything for money" heap.

Christmas With the Kranks tells the story of Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis) Krank who, under usual circumstances, are just about as filled with the Christmas spirit as it's possible for a couple to be. This year, however, their grown daughter is out of the country after joining the Peace Corps. As a result, both the elder Kranks are a little depressed and more than a little certain Christmas can't possibly be the same if their daughter isn't there to share it with them. In a sudden burst of inspiration, Luther suggests they skip Christmas all together. He proposes they take the money they would have otherwise spent on holiday decorations, parties, and gifts and use it instead to go on a Caribbean cruise. Nora rapidly grows enthused about the idea herself, but the neighbors aren't quite so fond of the plan.

In suburbia, it seems that decorations and other traditions are the concern of the entire block. So when the Kranks decide they're not participating in the usual local traditions, block leader Vic Frohmeyer (Dan Aykroyd) takes it upon himself to do whatever it takes to bring the Kranks back into line. With ongoing—and annoying—assistance from his son, Spike (Erik Per Sullivan), Vic becomes the bane of the Kranks' existence. But when the younger Krank suddenly calls on Christmas Eve with the surprise news she's coming home for the holidays after all, it's Vic who works together with the others in the neighborhood to save the day.

Christmas With the Kranks is not only entirely predictable, it's dumb. Tim Allen is a very funny guy; Jamie Lee Curtis has proved her own comedic talents onscreen more than once. Christmas With the Kranks is billed as a comedy. And yet not only did I never laugh, I didn't even smile during this movie. Like I said, it's dumb. It's really dumb. The production values are good, but the story is silly, the script is worse, and the actors quite literally have nothing with which to work. The cast is mostly fine, particularly Erik Per Sullivan. But they're given such stupid lines and such ridiculous situations that there's nothing even an Oscar™-caliber performance could have done to save the day—or this awful movie.

FAMILY SUITABILITY: Christmas With the Kranks is rated PG since "some material may not be suitable for children." Frankly, unless you're an insomniac and really need to get some sleep, I can't say it's suitable for anybody else, either.