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What They've Thought
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What They Thought May 28, 2006 Alan
Caruba Click here for columnist bios |
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The British author and critic, Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) said that a phony kind of patriotism was the last refuge of a scoundrel. These days it’s environmentalism. When a candidate for president really doesn’t have any good ideas on how to keep the economy going strong, deal with America’s enemies, or any of the other practical necessities to ensure our future, they always rely on the “environment” as their pitch for votes. In the past, when a man was defeated in his quest for the presidency, he usually had the good sense and good grace to sink into anonymity, emerging only upon his death to receive the accolades that he hardly deserved in life. But not Al Gore or John F. Kerry. Al Gore, who ran for president in 2000, is running around promoting his End-Of-The-World movie about global warming, spewing forth more hot air than all the industrialized nations combined. Sen. Kerry continues to represent Massachusetts. He is a Democrat who ran for the presidency in 2004 and was defeated by a margin of some three million popular votes. Kerry lost votes every time he tried thinking on his feet. It was always a mistake. As if the war in Vietnam was the only seminal event in the lives of Americans, Kerry depicted himself as a hero “reporting for duty” and tried very hard to play down his previous testimony before a congressional committee that accused his fellow soldiers of being war criminals who committed atrocities. Ever the two-faced hypocrite, Kerry still envies against the Iraq invasion while mouthing support for our troops. In January an Associated Press story began by noting that, “It’s almost as if Sen. John Kerry never stopped running for president. He still jets across the country, raising millions of dollars and rallying Democrats. He still stalks the TV news show circuit, scolding President Bush at every turn.” These days Kerry has morphed into the clone of Al Gore. In his quest for the presidency, he has created a committee called Keeping America’s Promise in order to have another shot at the party’s nomination. In the process, he is opposing “so-called energy policies written by Big Oil” and is against “sacrificing clean water, clean air, and our national parks so that the special interests can make more money.” Making more money is why America has an eleven trillion dollar economy. For reasons unknown to rational people, our current energy policies, promulgated in part by the U.S. Senate, involve a ban on drilling for copious amounts of oil in Alaska’s ANWR or anywhere off-shore of America. Soon enough Red China will be sucking oil just off the coast of Cuba, which is just off the coast of Florida! According to Kerry, Republicans are “anti-environment,” “threatening the Arctic Refuge,” “selling off our national forests,” “weakening environmental standards” and, if we all vote for him, he will put America “on the path to genuine energy independence.” He proposes to do this by “requiring utilities to gradually increase the portion of electricity produced from renewable sources such as wind, biomass, geothermal, and solar energy.” This is complete and utter blather. If they were viable, efficient sources of energy, they would be in use right now. If Kerry wants to win votes in New Jersey, he should be advised that its largest daily newspaper recently ran an editorial titled, “Don’t make Jersey a wind power guinea pig.” Even the senior Senator from Massachusetts, Teddy Kennedy, doesn’t want a vast wall of wind machines spoiling the view from his ancestral home in Hyannis Port. It gets worse. Kerry wants “a mandate that agriculture will provide 20% of the total energy consumed in the United States by 2020.” He wants Congress to enact “energy efficiency measures to decrease energy use by 20% in 2020.” He wants “twenty percent of all passenger cards and trucks on the road” to be “high-efficiency, low emissions hybrids by 2020.” And, finally, “Congress should act to eliminate America’s oil imports from the Middle East by 2020.” But please do not drill for any oil anywhere in America! These draconian and largely insane proposals constitute the bulk of Kerry’s known campaign platform. He may yet include the Osama bin Laden plank advocating the nation’s complete surrender and retreat from the Middle East When will Americans be rid of Sen. Kerry? As the Boston Herald columnist Howie Carr noted in January, “Everyone in Massachusetts, including his ostensible supporters, knows what a complete fraud Kerry is and always has been.” His current efforts to campaign for the presidency once more were, said Carr, “delusional.” These words, of course, could just as easily be applied to Al Gore. Do not, however, discount the totally bereft Democrat Party’s capacity for self-delusion. It is too soon to say who will emerge as the Party’s choice, but consider yourself sufficiently warned that John F. Kerry still wants to be your next Commander in Chief. |
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It sure has been interesting to watch the left flounder about as they try their best to create an insurgency in this country. My absolute favorites have been the left-wingers who parade around in their new conservative clothes. I never grow weary of the phrase “I used to be a Republican.” Or better yet, “I used to be a conservative.” Some of them actually go on at times to make a few rational points before derailing their trains of thought and veering into a special place devoid of the tracks of reality, a place only they understand. One of the few good points they make is that we aren’t doing enough to stop illegal immigration. But start to send these guys back to their homeland and watch them switch sides. They’ll be crying out about profiling because we’re sending Mexicans back to Mexico. They’ll be upset because we’re asking only Mexicans if they’re from Mexico and have registered legally. Just like they got all worked up because we were looking specifically at people of Mid-Eastern descent to see if they might be Mid-Eastern terrorists. One of the other points they make is that Bush has certainly not been very conservative when it has come to funding un-fundable socialist projects. (The kind that will implode in no time at all such as the prescription drug plan.) The part where they fly off into some alternate reality that matches their many alternate lifestyles is when they start to accuse Bush of being an Imperialist. I’m sorry folks, but I’m growing a little weary of morons trying to slap that moniker on us. Not one of them has a clue as to what an Imperialist would actually have done. The oil here would be a lot cheaper because we would be pumping it ourselves. The various incursions brought on by the nice residents of the Sunni triangle would have stopped on the day it became a sheet of glass. Something interesting would have happened in Iran too. We wouldn’t be listening to a bunch of saber rattling. That’s right — they would have discovered there are consequences for our words and deeds. The anti-Semitic garbage coming out of the same people I was discussing at the start of this article is really amazing. If Israel were really out of control they would be doing things like waiting until they could get several terror bosses and then hitting them with rockets. On the day when they decided to hold the funeral and all of their peace loving acolytes gathered to pay their last respects they’d fire-bomb the funeral procession and be darn sure anyone there was a supporter but no longer a problem. But what is it that drives these nattering nabobs, these cretins, who claim to have drunk from the fount of knowledge, when they obviously only gargled? It is quite simply that feeling of validation they receive from those they carefully surround themselves with. They operate in a currency of emotions and validation. Cindy Sheehan isn’t anything new really. They have existed throughout the centuries in many forms and representing many ideologies. Actually if the truth be told, both sides of the political spectrum suffer from those who operate on emotions rather than logic and they go by many names and titles. On the left many of them are now called Professor, lawyer, Doctor, reporter, litigant, illegal immigrant, welfare recipient and my favorite, Mein Furhor. Those on the right are often called…well let’s not go there because it’s something coming out of the mouths of the rude and unwashed on the left. But it’s interesting to hear and read their comments when they call the conservatives chicken hawks completely forgetting that chicken hawks eat chickens. But since so many professors have been kind enough to show their ignorant posteriors to the world, I thought I’d mention one who is particularly dull of wit. He wrote the introduction to Cindy Sheehan’s debasement of everything her son stood for ("Dear President Bush"). In Howard Zinn’s glowing introduction he wrote some rather stupid things: “A box cutter can bring down a tower. A poem can build up a movement. A pamphlet can spark a revolution.” It’s the kind of thing that makes you wonder why the liberals don’t recognize that not all of the ancient civilizations or wannabes such as the Taliban were that special. They tend to look back on them as having lived the ultimate way of life. The inhabitants of Machu Picchu are a great example of misunderstood ancient civilizations. I wonder if…. I wonder if there’s a connection, because liberalism didn’t really get a chance to catch on until they ended the annual springtime custom of tossing their miscreants off of the cliffs. Gosh, look what I just typed. How impolitic of me. R.A. Hawkins Web Site Contact Back to Top |
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Most people don’t care about thoroughbred horse racing. Three Saturdays each spring, countless Americans gather ‘round to watch a bunch of horses they’ve never ridden or even seen up close in person compete in the Triple Crown races. We curl our toes and clench our lips. Our hearts beat quickly. And for an annual total of roughly six minutes, most of us do seem to care. But most of us don’t really care about thoroughbred horse racing. We just think we care about thoroughbred horse racing. What we really care about is Triple Crown racing. Which, as we all know, is the only racing that counts. When a horse by the name of Barbaro won this year’s Kentucky Derby in decisive, almost arrogant fashion a couple of weeks ago, all the familiar “Will this be the year?” Triple Crown talk started up full force again. No horse since Affirmed in ‘78 (or was it Yastrzemski in ‘67…?) has worn the proverbial three-pronged headpiece, and every year America gets behind whichever horse seems like he could. Had Barbaro simply tried and failed like so many others, his story would be… well, like so many others. He would be this year’s version of last year’s “whichever horse almost won it last year.” On May 20th, however, his story took a much different turn. The stage was set at Pimlico Race Course for the 131st running of the Preakness Stakes. With a buzz in the air and the race about to begin, Barbaro broke through his gate a moment too early, and had to be re-corralled. A minute later, the race finally — officially — got underway. And the planets, it seemed, prepared to align. Within seconds, however, Barbaro stumbled, and fractured his right hind leg. In an instant, his run at Triple Crown history was over. His racing career itself was over. And like any horse with a leg injury, his life was suddenly in jeopardy. I have to be honest. After watching Barbaro’s fate unfold at the Preakness, I was somewhat depressed the rest of the evening. I’ve been following all the updates on his condition since it happened, and I was relieved to learn he did well in surgery. At one point the night of the Preakness, I actually found myself praying for this horse to survive his injuries. I know I’m not the only one who did this. Countless Americans have vowed to keep Barbaro in their prayers. All this sympathy is good, in my opinion. I’m glad that it’s happening. But when you stop and think about it, it’s really pretty weird. I mean, here we are, praying to the same God credited with creating the universe — and for what? A horse most of us have never ridden or even seen up close in person? Why would we do this? And more importantly: If most of us don’t really care about horse racing, what gives us the right — when it comes to Barbaro — to honestly, truthfully care? It would be easy to cast off these feelings as collective guilt here. Human beings routinely force horses to run around in circles for no real reason. Deep down, most of us probably realize this is bizarre. But I think what it really comes down to is the same question I find myself asking every time I watch horse racing, which is: “Do the horses enjoy it?” Obviously, that question is impossible to answer. But if you looked at Barbaro’s face when he broke through the gate too early, it really looked like he cared about winning. He probably didn’t, but after breaking his leg — and shattering the dream — a minute later, all that mattered was he looked like he did. In that moment, Barbaro wasn’t a horse anymore. He was a boxer trying to beat the ten count. And he was more than that. He was anyone who ever wanted something so badly that they totally screwed things up. Am I blowing this way the hell out of proportion? Absolutely. But that’s the whole point. The Triple Crown, itself, is blown out of proportion. Sports are blown out of proportion. So are most things we hear on the news. There’s a reason for this. And in case you haven’t noticed, it’s because life is pointless. Not that we’re necessarily here for no reason — that’s not what I’m saying. But who among us hasn’t felt useless at some point? Who hasn’t opened their eyes in the morning and said to themselves, “Again?” People fear change, but they hate the inevitable. That’s why we root for things that aren’t supposed to happen. Sometimes this means rooting for a Triple Crown horse. Other times, it means rooting against Barry Bonds making homerun history. Barbaro surviving is another thing we root for. After all, it’s against the odds. Most horses who suffer his injuries are euthanized right on the track. All things considered, horse racing exists for the sake of gamblers. But all things considered, all of us gamble everyday when we get out of bed. We bet on our lives having some kind of meaning. We look ourselves in the mirror, and look like we care if we win. In the end, most of us can identify more with all those nameless, faceless horses who get euthanized. We toil in anonymity. And we die largely underreported deaths. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about Barbaro. Quite the opposite. I think we should. It just means that caring about Barbaro means caring about more than Barbaro. In a way, it means caring enough to keep caring — whatever the odds are. So feel better, Barbaro. And hey: Get well soon. Jonathan David Morris Web Site Contact Back to Top |
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The House of Representatives recently passed funding for a new federal mandate that threatens to put thousands of small farmers and ranchers out of business. The National Animal Identification System, known as NAIS, is an expensive and unnecessary federal program that requires owners of livestock-- cattle, dairy, poultry, and even horses-- to tag animals with electronic tracking devices. The intrusive monitoring system amounts to nothing more than a tax on livestock owners, allowing the federal government access to detailed information about their private property. In typical Washington-speak, NAIS is “voluntary”—provided USDA bureaucrats are satisfied with the level of cooperation. Trust me, NAIS will be mandatory within a few years. When was the last time a new federal program did not expand once implemented? As usual, Congress is spending millions of dollars creating a complex non-solution to a very simple problem. NAIS will cost taxpayers at least $33 million for starters. Agribusiness giants support NAIS, because they want the federal government to create a livestock database and provide free industry data. But small and independent livestock owners face a costly mandate if NAIS becomes law. Larger livestock operations will be able to tag whole groups of animals with one ID device. Smaller ranchers and farmers, however, will be forced to tag each individual animal, at a cost of anywhere from $3 to $20 per head. And NAIS applies to anyone with a single horse, pig, chicken, or goat in the backyard—no exceptions. NAIS applies to children in 4-H or FFA. Once NAIS becomes mandatory, any failure to report and tag an animal subjects the owner to $1,000 per day fines. NAIS also forces livestock owners to comply with new paperwork and monitoring regulations. These farmers and ranchers literally will be paying for an assault on their property and privacy rights, as NAIS empowers federal agents to enter and seize property without a warrant-- a blatant violation of the 4th amendment. NAIS is not about preventing mad cow or other diseases. States already have animal identification systems in place, and virtually all stockyards issue health certificates. Since most contamination happens after animals have been sold, tracing them back to the farm or ranch that sold them won’t help find the sources of disease. More than anything, NAIS places our family farmers and ranchers at an economic disadvantage against agribusiness and overseas competition. As dairy farmer and rancher Bob Parker stated, NAIS is “too intrusive, too costly, and will be devastating to small farmers and ranchers.” NAIS means more government, more regulations, more fees, more federal spending, less privacy, and diminished property rights. It’s exactly the kind of federal program every conservative, civil libertarian, animal lover, businessman, farmer, and rancher should oppose. The House has already acted, but there’s still time to tell the Senate to dump NAIS. Please call your Senators and tell them you oppose spending even one dime on the NAIS program in the 2007 agriculture appropriations bill. Rep. Ron Paul Web Site Back to Top |
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I can only imagine how the conversation went. Teacher A: If Teacher B told you that you couldn’t work on the project in her room, what would make you think it would be okay to work on it in my room? Student: Uh, I don’t know, looking down, knowing that he tried to pull a fast one and was caught. Teacher A: What do you think you should do to resolve this matter with Teacher A? Student: Tell her I’m sorry? Teacher A: (Half Joking) Well, I think Teacher A is pretty upset about this. If I was you, I’d get down on my hands and knees and beg her for forgiveness. Student: (realizing everything might work out) Well, okay. Teacher A: (Laughing, thinking humor might ease the tension, break the ice) As a matter of fact, I’d probably crawl to her room, to show her how badly you feel about trying to play us against each other. Student: (Complying) I will. Laughter ensues while the student crawls into the other teacher’s room, begging forgiveness. Everyone moves on. Only this is not what happened. Everyone didn’t move on. One teacher is on leave, and the other teacher no longer works for the district where the incident took place. The school district was forced to pay the student $50,000 for suffering humiliation. Having worked in the field of education for most of my professional life, I find it incredibly frightening that teachers with perfectly honorable intentions can end up losing their jobs and schools lose money over incidents such as this. Truly, at another time, in another era, at most, the teacher might have thought over what transpired and issued an apology because he unknowingly made the kid feel bad. “You know it was all in fun, kiddo. We didn’t really want to come down too hard on you at the end of the year, but we wanted you to know it wasn’t acceptable. No hard feelings, okay? Oh, and what is that in your mouth?” The kid smiles at being caught for the third time that week and realizing the teachers aren’t really that bad; they’re just doing their job. “We’re cool.” Certainly, there couldn’t have been any malicious intent. Any teenager with a sense of humor would have taken the bait and it would have been a story for the ages. Teachers working in middle school know all about what passes for humor at that age. Some of them try to add a little levity to the classroom by trying to joke with the kids. Sigh. I’m so tired of political correctness. An another scenario, the focus would have been on the student who did not follow the directions and tried to find a loophole. The reality is that he should have received a detention for trying to manipulate the adults who were in charge of him, and given no credit for the assignment which should have been completed at home. The teachers, though, from all accounts liked him and tried to use humor to make their point. Recently, I heard this conversation transpire in a classroom between a teacher and a group of students huddled around her. Teacher: (Answering student arguing with her about being in danger of failing) “Who is it hurting when you don’t turn in your assignment? Is it hurting me? No, it’s hurting you. How can I grade an assignment if it isn’t in front of me? Now all of you know that you lose 11 points a day until the assignment is turned in, but I’m going to give you a break and only take off 22 points even though all of you should be receiving Fs because it has been over five days since the due date. I’m giving all of you class time to complete and turn in your late work.” Response from one boy in the group of students: “No, its hurting you because if all of us receive bad grades then our parents will know that you are a bad teacher because this many people shouldn’t receive such low grades and then the principal will have to fire you for doing a bad job.” No kidding, I listened to this and the teacher didn’t respond. She had several kids around her and I’m not sure she really heard him, so many were trying to explain themselves. I did, though, and when he saw me looking at him, he said to me, “It’s true, you know.” I did know. However, dumbstruck at his arrogance, I just looked at him in amazement. Nancy
Salvato
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